Through the last two weeks, God has been speaking right to my heart.
Every day it seems like He´s chipping away at my heart, opening me up. Breaking me, showing me things I thought I knew but I am learning there is so much I didn´t know. For instance, we have been learning about how to hear God´s voice. God desires to speak to us, to have a real conversation. It seems to me like we go to God when we need to talk, when we need help, so we talk and talk and say thanks and then walk away. Could you imagine doing that to a friend? Talk and talk and then just walk away? God desires so much more! He has a thrilling amazing plan for our lives, if only we´d just be quiet for a moment and listen, it´s amazing what He has to share. We also learned that it´s important to quiet our own voices and satan´s voice and make sure to tune all that out.
For example, I was sitting outside on a hill overlooking amazing countryside and the breathtaking ocean, and I felt a voice tell me that Josh wasn´t the one, and what was I doing here in Chile? At first I just cried my heart out. And then I realized I hadn't prayed, I hadn't asked God to quiet my voice, or the voice of the devil. And then after awhile, God spoke to me, "Here you are, you haven´t been listening. I know the desires of your heart, Josh is a good man and I did bring you together. All I ask is that you love me first. You are here with me. Spend time with me. I have so much I want to tell you. I brought you here for a reason." I was bawling at this point. And then God whispered something else into my heart, I need to explain this first. For some reason, I´ve always had this fear that I´ll never be able to have kids. I don´t know why. But God told me, just out of the blue, in this same moment, "And don´t worry, you will have kids someday. And you will be a great mom." I couldn´t believe it, I cried and cried. And then after all this, I went down the hill looking for Mandy to tell her, someone, anyone, what God had just told me! And she met me with a great big smile...she said, "Cass, I´m pregnant!" :O
Lord you are amazing. In the Bible it says that All scripture is God-breathed, that sent chills down my spine. I know the Bible is God´s word, but each scripture is a word from God´s heart.
On another note, right now we are praying about where to go on outreach. As God leads, the trips to choose from are Cuba, Bolivia, Haiti, Dominican Rebpublic, here in Chile or possibly to Peru where there was an earthquake recently. Please pray for finicial needs as these trips will cost somewhere around $2000 for each student, as well that we could continue to learn the language quickly.
My hand is healing nicely and I don´t have to wear a bandage anymore, hurray! It´s hardly notciable anymore :) Anyways, we are about to head for church so I have to run, but God bless you all and talk to you soon!
Cass
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Imagine...
Kristy and Bob are flying out to Africa today...
Bob & Kris - Having just been through all the hassles of an airport for the first time in my life, I just want to wish them all the best. Enjoy England you guys, I'm sure we're all very jealous. And may God bless your time in Africa...Mandy and I were talking about you two this afternoon and how amazing this time is going to be for both for of you...I'm so excited for both of you, I think God is going to really move in your lives and teach you lots. Bob & Kris, I love you both soooooo much and I'll be thinking of you all the time and praying for you. Miss you already!
This is a song by Kirk Franklin, I feel like it really speaks of my life and how God is just speaking deep into heart and telling me that I can just be free and that all the pain is gone....I added the music video below, from YouTube.
Imagine Me
Imagine me
Loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I
I imagine me
In a place of no insecurities
And I'm finally happy cause
I imagine me
Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me
Cause they never did deserve me
Can you imagine me?
Saying no to thoughts that try to control me
Remembering all you told me
Lord, can you imagine me?
Over what my mama said
And healed from what my daddy did
And I wanna live and not read that page again
Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally finally I can...
Imagine me
I admit it was hard to see
You being in love with someone like me
But finally I can...
Imagine me
Being strong
And not letting people break me down
You won't get that joy this time around
Can you imagine me?
In a world (in a world) where nobody has to live afraid
Because of your love fears gone away
Can you imagine me?
Letting go of my past
And glad I have another chance
And my heart will dance
'Cause I don't have to read that page again
Gone, gone, it's gone, all gone
Bob & Kris - Having just been through all the hassles of an airport for the first time in my life, I just want to wish them all the best. Enjoy England you guys, I'm sure we're all very jealous. And may God bless your time in Africa...Mandy and I were talking about you two this afternoon and how amazing this time is going to be for both for of you...I'm so excited for both of you, I think God is going to really move in your lives and teach you lots. Bob & Kris, I love you both soooooo much and I'll be thinking of you all the time and praying for you. Miss you already!
This is a song by Kirk Franklin, I feel like it really speaks of my life and how God is just speaking deep into heart and telling me that I can just be free and that all the pain is gone....I added the music video below, from YouTube.
Imagine Me
Imagine me
Loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I
I imagine me
In a place of no insecurities
And I'm finally happy cause
I imagine me
Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me
Cause they never did deserve me
Can you imagine me?
Saying no to thoughts that try to control me
Remembering all you told me
Lord, can you imagine me?
Over what my mama said
And healed from what my daddy did
And I wanna live and not read that page again
Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally finally I can...
Imagine me
I admit it was hard to see
You being in love with someone like me
But finally I can...
Imagine me
Being strong
And not letting people break me down
You won't get that joy this time around
Can you imagine me?
In a world (in a world) where nobody has to live afraid
Because of your love fears gone away
Can you imagine me?
Letting go of my past
And glad I have another chance
And my heart will dance
'Cause I don't have to read that page again
Gone, gone, it's gone, all gone
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Metamorphosis...
Honesty...
Josh and I were having a discussion this morning about being honest. And a couple days ago, Mandy was talking about superficiality...They tie together. Why is it so hard to be honest, and why is it so hard at times to be real with people, sometimes even the people we are closest to? I think that it is something that God has woven into our complex design. We long for intimacy, for realness. For honesty...So why is it so difficult? Why can't we just be open and real with one another? Is it because we are so afraid of what people might think of us? Or is it something deeper, maybe something personal, maybe something in our past, that doesn't allow us to feel like we can be so bold. So, honest. I think for me, it's a little of both.
And as I begin this school here in Chile, that is something I desire to see come forth and battle with, to learn about myself and what it is about me that maybe I don't like, somethings that I do like, and things I genuinely need to work on and become confident in who I am, and who God created me to be. It both excites me and terrifies me at the same time. Because who wants to admit to their struggles, and be in conflict with your past, isn't it sometimes the wall you lean on, as weak as it may be, just to keep going?
For me, I know that my dad had played a big part in how I am today, and I'm not justifing it, and saying it is him who is to blame, but something deep inside of me knows that he had a very negative role in my life that left be broken and afraid. To this day, I often have nightmares, nightmares where he's chasing me, or yelling at me and I wake up, knowing that he's no longer around and part of my life but still shaking and desperate to let it all out. To let this fear and emotional baggage be released. It seems to like it should almost be easy, to just let go. And pretend like it never happened. But obviously, there is still a personal battle going on underneath the surface if I still have these nightmares. Granted, they aren't going to just disapear, because ultimetly, it was the way everyday of my life was spent up until now. I dream of my life later on, with a husband and a family, and look towards that light and hold on to it, because it helps get me through the day. Knowing that some bright and hopeful future is in store for me, because I know that God has promised it (Jeremiah 29:11).
And there are so many insecurities inside of me that I battle with daily. Why can't I be pretty like that girl? Why don't my clothes fit on my body like they do on her? Why can't I be more outgoing, like him/her? Why am I so shy sometimes? Why isn't it okay to just be me? To be happy with who God has created me to be? It hurts Josh and I'm sure my mom too, when these honest feelings come out. To know that I don't feel pretty, or worth much. But this is something personal that I am learning to deal with...For example, I don't like my teeth at all. When I was little my mom gave me antibiotics that colored my teeth (It's okay, Mum). But they are permanetly yellow in lots of places, and I hate it because it looks like I don't take care of my teeth. I tried Crest whitestrips and I just wanted to cry to discover it didn't work. I was so pleased to see the result of my braces though, when they were taken off, all my teeth were in the perfect place. But still yellow. And my gums, I inherited my dad's gummy smile and really don't like the way my gums always show when I smile, or laugh. Josh (and everyone!) tells me I'm beautful just the way I am (and thank you for that, many times it's helped me be more secure in myself) but to be perfectly honest - I long for it to just be fixed so it's something I don't have to think about anymore, to feel like when people look at me that it's all they see (Which I know is not true, but you know what I mean?) Mum and I have talked to the dentist before about this, and because it's not something really needed it won't be covered under healthcare because it's cosmetic. But if it means so much to me, it's definitely something I'm wlling to save for. Do you know what I mean? To walk down the aisle someday, with my teeth the way they are...Wedding photos? Mommy why are your teeth yellow? *shudder*
We asked about what the dentist could do, and he said they could surgecially remove some of my gum out (gum minimizing) to make it so not so much shows when I smile, because technically there is nothing there (teeth wise) it's just gums. Sounds kinda gross I know, and then of course they could cap my teeth. I would be satisfied even if it were just the five or six front ones, but I believe it's somewhere in the range of 400-600 bucks a tooth. No lie...but I really would love that. To look in the mirror and smile! To actually smile for the camera, not just with my lips, so you can't see my teeth. I've noticed I've become a little better for that, but not close ups! Heaven forbid...When people ask, if there was one thing you could change about you, what would it be? Lord, please. My teeth.
I'm not overweight, but I know I could be more active, eat better, and get my weight under better control...Ultimetly though, I am definitely learning to be satisfied...I don't want to slap God in the face and say thanks, but honestly, couldn't you have done better? I don't want that to be what this is about, I just want to be more okay with what who I am...Is that bad? You know, I guess when you think in a wordly perspective, if it's something that money alone can fix, why not? Right?
I just...I hope this will be a time that God will teach me to happy with not only the pyhsical things I don't like about me, but inside too...Sometimes I think I might be annoying to other people. Did I have to say that? I really wish I could have taken that comment back I said this morning...Ever feel like that? I'm such a people pleaser, and if I think something I might say, that that someone may not like, I won't say anything. And I find it hard to share my opinion...won't people think I'm stupid, or that was so off topic. Ultimetly I think too much about what people might think about me. Being with Josh is good sometimes I think, because he's the opposite, he doesn't care what people think about him, and he's okay with who he is. I love that about him, admire it. I wish I could be more like that...I'm bad with that too, comparing myself to others...God I want to be okay with who I am! I really do!
So I pray that this will be a growing time for me here, to spend time with God and learn to be more confident and okay with who God has created me to be. Because I am His princess and He loves me more then anything...I say that to other people when I know they don't feel okay about who they are or they feel fat or stupid or unbeautiful...But do I believe it myself? Sometimes I wonder...I have a family and Josh...who I know loves me immensely. God, help me please to accept the wonderful person you've made...Josh says I have the "most beautiful personality" God, help me to believe that! (Thanks honey :)Lord, create in me a metamorphosis...Let my whole outlook become centered on You, and not me! I love you, Jesus!
Oh, and quickly - I just have a prayer request. I burned my hand with hot water earlier this week, we went to the hospital and they bandaged me up. If you could just pray for quick healing as I am pretty much unable to use my left hand (I'm left handed). And I wasn't eating right, not allowing my stomach to get used to the food here so I was sick all day yesterday...and then I ate chocolate today that had hazelnut...and am sick once again. *sigh* Anyways, I should be resting I suppose. Much love and bye for now!
Josh and I were having a discussion this morning about being honest. And a couple days ago, Mandy was talking about superficiality...They tie together. Why is it so hard to be honest, and why is it so hard at times to be real with people, sometimes even the people we are closest to? I think that it is something that God has woven into our complex design. We long for intimacy, for realness. For honesty...So why is it so difficult? Why can't we just be open and real with one another? Is it because we are so afraid of what people might think of us? Or is it something deeper, maybe something personal, maybe something in our past, that doesn't allow us to feel like we can be so bold. So, honest. I think for me, it's a little of both.
And as I begin this school here in Chile, that is something I desire to see come forth and battle with, to learn about myself and what it is about me that maybe I don't like, somethings that I do like, and things I genuinely need to work on and become confident in who I am, and who God created me to be. It both excites me and terrifies me at the same time. Because who wants to admit to their struggles, and be in conflict with your past, isn't it sometimes the wall you lean on, as weak as it may be, just to keep going?
For me, I know that my dad had played a big part in how I am today, and I'm not justifing it, and saying it is him who is to blame, but something deep inside of me knows that he had a very negative role in my life that left be broken and afraid. To this day, I often have nightmares, nightmares where he's chasing me, or yelling at me and I wake up, knowing that he's no longer around and part of my life but still shaking and desperate to let it all out. To let this fear and emotional baggage be released. It seems to like it should almost be easy, to just let go. And pretend like it never happened. But obviously, there is still a personal battle going on underneath the surface if I still have these nightmares. Granted, they aren't going to just disapear, because ultimetly, it was the way everyday of my life was spent up until now. I dream of my life later on, with a husband and a family, and look towards that light and hold on to it, because it helps get me through the day. Knowing that some bright and hopeful future is in store for me, because I know that God has promised it (Jeremiah 29:11).
And there are so many insecurities inside of me that I battle with daily. Why can't I be pretty like that girl? Why don't my clothes fit on my body like they do on her? Why can't I be more outgoing, like him/her? Why am I so shy sometimes? Why isn't it okay to just be me? To be happy with who God has created me to be? It hurts Josh and I'm sure my mom too, when these honest feelings come out. To know that I don't feel pretty, or worth much. But this is something personal that I am learning to deal with...For example, I don't like my teeth at all. When I was little my mom gave me antibiotics that colored my teeth (It's okay, Mum). But they are permanetly yellow in lots of places, and I hate it because it looks like I don't take care of my teeth. I tried Crest whitestrips and I just wanted to cry to discover it didn't work. I was so pleased to see the result of my braces though, when they were taken off, all my teeth were in the perfect place. But still yellow. And my gums, I inherited my dad's gummy smile and really don't like the way my gums always show when I smile, or laugh. Josh (and everyone!) tells me I'm beautful just the way I am (and thank you for that, many times it's helped me be more secure in myself) but to be perfectly honest - I long for it to just be fixed so it's something I don't have to think about anymore, to feel like when people look at me that it's all they see (Which I know is not true, but you know what I mean?) Mum and I have talked to the dentist before about this, and because it's not something really needed it won't be covered under healthcare because it's cosmetic. But if it means so much to me, it's definitely something I'm wlling to save for. Do you know what I mean? To walk down the aisle someday, with my teeth the way they are...Wedding photos? Mommy why are your teeth yellow? *shudder*
We asked about what the dentist could do, and he said they could surgecially remove some of my gum out (gum minimizing) to make it so not so much shows when I smile, because technically there is nothing there (teeth wise) it's just gums. Sounds kinda gross I know, and then of course they could cap my teeth. I would be satisfied even if it were just the five or six front ones, but I believe it's somewhere in the range of 400-600 bucks a tooth. No lie...but I really would love that. To look in the mirror and smile! To actually smile for the camera, not just with my lips, so you can't see my teeth. I've noticed I've become a little better for that, but not close ups! Heaven forbid...When people ask, if there was one thing you could change about you, what would it be? Lord, please. My teeth.
I'm not overweight, but I know I could be more active, eat better, and get my weight under better control...Ultimetly though, I am definitely learning to be satisfied...I don't want to slap God in the face and say thanks, but honestly, couldn't you have done better? I don't want that to be what this is about, I just want to be more okay with what who I am...Is that bad? You know, I guess when you think in a wordly perspective, if it's something that money alone can fix, why not? Right?
I just...I hope this will be a time that God will teach me to happy with not only the pyhsical things I don't like about me, but inside too...Sometimes I think I might be annoying to other people. Did I have to say that? I really wish I could have taken that comment back I said this morning...Ever feel like that? I'm such a people pleaser, and if I think something I might say, that that someone may not like, I won't say anything. And I find it hard to share my opinion...won't people think I'm stupid, or that was so off topic. Ultimetly I think too much about what people might think about me. Being with Josh is good sometimes I think, because he's the opposite, he doesn't care what people think about him, and he's okay with who he is. I love that about him, admire it. I wish I could be more like that...I'm bad with that too, comparing myself to others...God I want to be okay with who I am! I really do!
So I pray that this will be a growing time for me here, to spend time with God and learn to be more confident and okay with who God has created me to be. Because I am His princess and He loves me more then anything...I say that to other people when I know they don't feel okay about who they are or they feel fat or stupid or unbeautiful...But do I believe it myself? Sometimes I wonder...I have a family and Josh...who I know loves me immensely. God, help me please to accept the wonderful person you've made...Josh says I have the "most beautiful personality" God, help me to believe that! (Thanks honey :)Lord, create in me a metamorphosis...Let my whole outlook become centered on You, and not me! I love you, Jesus!
Oh, and quickly - I just have a prayer request. I burned my hand with hot water earlier this week, we went to the hospital and they bandaged me up. If you could just pray for quick healing as I am pretty much unable to use my left hand (I'm left handed). And I wasn't eating right, not allowing my stomach to get used to the food here so I was sick all day yesterday...and then I ate chocolate today that had hazelnut...and am sick once again. *sigh* Anyways, I should be resting I suppose. Much love and bye for now!
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
My new dawn!
This whole past week and a half has been awesome, yet challenging. I'm so excited to be here, and to see how God plans on using and teaching me...I'm excited for all the time I have...I really have no obligations or worries to think about, other then my fmaily back home and managing my money while I'm here. Mandy and I were talking about it yesterday afternoon, and it just really opened my eyes to see that I don't have to worry and that being here so early before my DTS actually starts is going to be so great because, not only do I get a head start on learning the language, I also have all this free time in which to spend with the Lord of all creation and take in His marvelous beauty all around me...How exciting is that? And to boot, I have the awesome oppertnunity to take in a lot of the sights...and the breath taking beach! The waves are amazing, and HUGE! I only wish it wasn't so cold still or I would so be out there in it! And oh my gosh, the food is so yummy! So I have been to a few great places with Mandy and Jorge and his family...I've tried lots of different meats, new ice cream flavors and even the McDonald's here has all different stuff, hehe. And Empanda's! (YUM!) Empanada's are kinda shaped like a big pizza pop and I believe they are deep fried which gives the outer pastry a bubbly look and on the inside you can get stuff like cheese or chicken and cheese and corn, or lots of other yummy stuff! They are sooo good! One of the favorite things to eat here is hot dogs smeared in avacado and mustard and stuff...I don't like them at all, lol. Sorry Jorge. But enough about the food...
Jorge took us to a Chilean monument, a boat that the Chilean's won in a war back in the day with Peru. It was pretty neat, and here in Chile they are super patriotic and Jorge strudded sround the boat like telling us about all the different soliders and canons and whatnot and it was kinda cute cause it seemed he had been there and this was his boat. Aww...We also went to the zoo in Concepcion, we took lots of pictures (you can see them on my facebook!) It was lots of fun, it was such a cool experience, and so different! The animals were mostly just behind chain link, so you could totally touch them...that is, if you wanted to! Lions and tigers and bears, Oh my! Totally couldn't handle the birds of prey...I tried my best to stay as far away as possible, especially *shudder* the owls (...if you don't know, we'll leave it at that) and I was glad I had stayed a fair distance away because as Mandy and Jorge checked out the birds there was a sudden explination of...fear and a big noise, this huge candor (which is like a HUGE vulture I guess) swooped down toward Mandy...It was in it's cage still of course, but all the same, I would have had a heart attack! And Mandy couldn't get over how big his wing span was, and ohh that was enough for me!
There was a really cute animal too, I can't remember what it was called and Jorge said they are extinct, which is so sad, cause it sure was adorable! (See the picture above? That's it! Isn't it cute?) We saw a macaw too, that could say hola! Hehe.
Hmm...What else did we do? Oh yeah! We went shopping! I only had two pairs of jeans and Mandy needed some clothes too so Jorge kindly let us shop for a day! Hurray! I felt so wonderfully back in my element...:) We also saw a movie with Jorge, "Die Hard" it was pretty good!
While we were doing all this we were staying in Concepcion with Jorge's family. I think it's about 6 hours from Pichelimu. Jorge's parents were both soo sweet, and he has two sisters, Carolina and Paulina...They were a lot of fun :) I'm going to miss them! It was really nice to spend time there with them and relax and get to sleep in before the school starts...
Now though we're back in Pichelimu and Mandy and I had a girls day yesterday...Except we had to make a stop at the hospital...I've only been here a week and I've already seen the inside of a hospital! I burned my hand the night before with hot water...I was getting ready for bed and it's always so cold in bed, so I boiled some water for a hot water bottle. I've never actually filled one before, my mommy always usually does it for me. Anyways, I poured it a little to fast I guess and it filled the up the top part and it spilled onto my hand and of course I can't move my hand off or the whole thing would pour out. Fortunetly, I had a hoodie on which covered most of my hand so most of the spilled water went into the fabric, so it could have been worse. The burn is about 3 inches long, and on my left hand (and I'm left handed) and I just thought ouch, whatever, put some ice on it (which I was told later you're not suppose to do?) and went to bed. The next morning there was water blisters on it, and I thought they looked so gross and so I poped them (which you're also not suppose to do, because apparently it makes it scar) but the water blisters came back again so Mandy took me to a pharmacy and the pharmasist looked at my hand and asked if we'd been to the hospital yet, we said no, shuold we go? She said yes, so we walked to the hospital (so nice to be in such a small town where everything is within walking distance!) We waited for a little while and then they drained the blisters and took off the burnt layer of skin (with tweezers!), cleaned the area and bandaged me up. They wanted me to go back every day to get it cleaned but I have to pay, but there are nurses here on the YWAM base who can do the same thing so that's a blessing...
Mandy and I had a really yummy chicken stir fry that she whipped up when we got back from the hospital, and had a really nice talk, as I mentioned. Super encouraging for me, and she wanted to know what was happening with Joshua and I and I really appriacte how she's treating me like an adult and understands how I feel when people seem to just want to tell me what to do, and when it feels like they don't think I'm old enough for this, I am an adult and this is a big part of my life and I would love nothing more then for people to get to know the amazing man that he is, and come to his church and get to know his big, awesome family...I want both these parts of my life - so deeply want- to be meshed and to be together...
We also talked about this is an amazing time for me to grow and really get to know...me! Mandy wanted to know how I was really doing and how I'm holding up here. She encouraged me to just walk or go to the beach and seek out time alone with God while I have this time and just take it easy and get to know Him better. Be still and know that I am God...Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "Plans for good and not for evil, plans to give you both a future and hope." And John 10:10 comes to mind, "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destory, but I have come that you may have life and have it to the fullest." What promises, what an awesome God we serve!!!!!!!!!
Jorge took us to a Chilean monument, a boat that the Chilean's won in a war back in the day with Peru. It was pretty neat, and here in Chile they are super patriotic and Jorge strudded sround the boat like telling us about all the different soliders and canons and whatnot and it was kinda cute cause it seemed he had been there and this was his boat. Aww...We also went to the zoo in Concepcion, we took lots of pictures (you can see them on my facebook!) It was lots of fun, it was such a cool experience, and so different! The animals were mostly just behind chain link, so you could totally touch them...that is, if you wanted to! Lions and tigers and bears, Oh my! Totally couldn't handle the birds of prey...I tried my best to stay as far away as possible, especially *shudder* the owls (...if you don't know, we'll leave it at that) and I was glad I had stayed a fair distance away because as Mandy and Jorge checked out the birds there was a sudden explination of...fear and a big noise, this huge candor (which is like a HUGE vulture I guess) swooped down toward Mandy...It was in it's cage still of course, but all the same, I would have had a heart attack! And Mandy couldn't get over how big his wing span was, and ohh that was enough for me!
There was a really cute animal too, I can't remember what it was called and Jorge said they are extinct, which is so sad, cause it sure was adorable! (See the picture above? That's it! Isn't it cute?) We saw a macaw too, that could say hola! Hehe.
Hmm...What else did we do? Oh yeah! We went shopping! I only had two pairs of jeans and Mandy needed some clothes too so Jorge kindly let us shop for a day! Hurray! I felt so wonderfully back in my element...:) We also saw a movie with Jorge, "Die Hard" it was pretty good!
While we were doing all this we were staying in Concepcion with Jorge's family. I think it's about 6 hours from Pichelimu. Jorge's parents were both soo sweet, and he has two sisters, Carolina and Paulina...They were a lot of fun :) I'm going to miss them! It was really nice to spend time there with them and relax and get to sleep in before the school starts...
Now though we're back in Pichelimu and Mandy and I had a girls day yesterday...Except we had to make a stop at the hospital...I've only been here a week and I've already seen the inside of a hospital! I burned my hand the night before with hot water...I was getting ready for bed and it's always so cold in bed, so I boiled some water for a hot water bottle. I've never actually filled one before, my mommy always usually does it for me. Anyways, I poured it a little to fast I guess and it filled the up the top part and it spilled onto my hand and of course I can't move my hand off or the whole thing would pour out. Fortunetly, I had a hoodie on which covered most of my hand so most of the spilled water went into the fabric, so it could have been worse. The burn is about 3 inches long, and on my left hand (and I'm left handed) and I just thought ouch, whatever, put some ice on it (which I was told later you're not suppose to do?) and went to bed. The next morning there was water blisters on it, and I thought they looked so gross and so I poped them (which you're also not suppose to do, because apparently it makes it scar) but the water blisters came back again so Mandy took me to a pharmacy and the pharmasist looked at my hand and asked if we'd been to the hospital yet, we said no, shuold we go? She said yes, so we walked to the hospital (so nice to be in such a small town where everything is within walking distance!) We waited for a little while and then they drained the blisters and took off the burnt layer of skin (with tweezers!), cleaned the area and bandaged me up. They wanted me to go back every day to get it cleaned but I have to pay, but there are nurses here on the YWAM base who can do the same thing so that's a blessing...
Mandy and I had a really yummy chicken stir fry that she whipped up when we got back from the hospital, and had a really nice talk, as I mentioned. Super encouraging for me, and she wanted to know what was happening with Joshua and I and I really appriacte how she's treating me like an adult and understands how I feel when people seem to just want to tell me what to do, and when it feels like they don't think I'm old enough for this, I am an adult and this is a big part of my life and I would love nothing more then for people to get to know the amazing man that he is, and come to his church and get to know his big, awesome family...I want both these parts of my life - so deeply want- to be meshed and to be together...
We also talked about this is an amazing time for me to grow and really get to know...me! Mandy wanted to know how I was really doing and how I'm holding up here. She encouraged me to just walk or go to the beach and seek out time alone with God while I have this time and just take it easy and get to know Him better. Be still and know that I am God...Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "Plans for good and not for evil, plans to give you both a future and hope." And John 10:10 comes to mind, "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destory, but I have come that you may have life and have it to the fullest." What promises, what an awesome God we serve!!!!!!!!!
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